When words are many, transgression is not lacking,
But whoever restrains his lips is prudent
Proverbs 10:19
I learned a new word this week in my study of this passage.
Verbosity.
Fifty-five years on this earth, and I am not sure I have ever heard it and if I had, I was unaware of what it meant.
Verbosity – simply put – means wordy, overly detailed, long winded. In other words, it means using more words than necessary. That is what this verse in Proverbs warns us against. The New Living Translation captures the idea of Proverbs 10:19 well:
Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut.
Scripture repeatedly warns us to guard our speech. I am going to just touch on a few of them here to help make the point that this is an issue that we need to take seriously.
Ecclesiastes 5:2
Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be hasty to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven and you are on earth. Therefore, let your words be few.
James 1:19
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger
Proverbs 12:18
There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts,
But the tongue of the wise brings healing.
And lastly, Ecclesiastes 10:14
A fool multiplies his words
So as we can see, the Bible does not tiptoe around the topic of our speech.
Think of the times when you are most likely to get yourself in trouble with your words. It’s usually times of high emotion like anger or fear. It can also happen when we simply aren’t mindful of what we’re saying or the effect our words have on those who hear them. Think about the times we are guilty of gossip and slander. Even if we are masking it as concern. Scripture also warns against these things.
Ephesians 4:29
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as it fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
In the opening verse from Proverbs 10:19 the warning is against excessive speech leading to sin. When we talk without thinking, it can lead us to offend others, gossip, exaggerate, or speak in anger. And in contrast to that “verbose” person, we see that the prudent person – the person who thinks before they speak, and exercises self-control – that person restrains his lips. Plainly stated, the prudent person doesn’t spew every thought that comes to mind. Exercising self-control guards him from sinning with his speech.
When I read Proverbs 10:19 this week it caught my attention in a way that convicted my heart in a new way. I have read the verse more times than I can count over the years, and it is even underlined in my Bible. I’ve learned that when something causes me to pause and brings a sense of conviction, it is often the Lord pointing out an issue I need to reflect on and likely repent of. And in all honesty, it connects directly to what I wrote about last week about spiritual complacency. If we are spiritually complacent, we are more likely to operate on emotion and our flesh than we are to guard our mouths and examine our hearts.
Words have power. They have the power to build up and tear down; power to heal and wound. It reminds me of the wise and foolish woman in Proverbs 14:1,
The wisest of women build her house,
But folly with her own hands tears it down.
The wise woman builds up her home, her family and others – but the woman of folly tears it all down.
So how do we guard our speech and use our words to intentionally build up and “give grace to those who hear”?
First, we pray. This should be a consistent prayer in our lives. Praying that the Lord would guide us and help us to control our speech. We must ask for wisdom to know when to speak and when to be silent. Just as Ecclesiastes 3:7 reminds us – there is a time for silence and a time to speak. We must pray for the Lord to grow us in that wisdom through his Word.
Second, we must know what his Word says. If we are going to pray for God’s wisdom – we have to remember it relies on us learning from the source of wisdom that he has given us – Scripture. God’s wisdom isn’t absorbed by osmosis. We grow in knowledge and wisdom through knowing what the Scriptures teach.
Lastly, we must put these things into action, trusting that the Lord will work in our lives to help us control our speech. This is where self-control comes in. If I am not setting my mind on faithfulness and resolving to be mindful of my words, that self-control “muscle” will never get stronger. Sometimes that may not just look like saying the right thing but not saying anything at all. The world has enough opinions and endless thoughts being shared by everyone and their brother. Often, wisdom is silence.
Ultimately, what comes out of our mouths reveals what fills our hearts. Luke 6:45 says,
The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.
Proverbs 4:23 tells us,
Keep your heart with all vigilance,
for from it flow the springs of life.
I want to leave you with one last verse that drives home the point of just how serious of an issue this is, and how seriously God takes it. Jesus himself says in Matthew 12:36:
“I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak”
So, dear sisters, may we not speak carelessly. May we begin each day in God’s Word, asking Him for wisdom and grace to use every word we speak to build others up and exalt Christ in the process.